It’s that time again, where you share a little bit too much about yourself with thousands of strangers.  To read about everyone else’s horror stories, go to LiLu’s TMI Thursday page:)

Have you ever really given a thought to how odd it is to use public bathrooms?  No…well, I’ll give you a minute.  Ponder over how many bums have rested (or unsuccessfully hovered) there before you?

Isn’t it kind of a weird thing when you really stop and think about it?  I’m sure you are wondering where this all came from.  Well, when T and I went to see New Moon, I decided to go to the bathroom before the movie started.  I rushed in and headed straight to the stall to do my business.  As I was sitting there, it hit me how weird it was to be peeing in a bathroom filled with strangers.  Here I was tinkling with about 5 other girls standing in front of the mirror (right outside my door) primping and chatting.  I’m not weired out by that type of thing, but it just struck me as very odd.  These girls were giggling and laughing, and I was practically peeing in front of them.  Of course there was a door, but how much privacy does it really offer?

As I was heading back to the theater, I was thinking how glad I was that I am not a guy.  Peeing in a little stall with a stranger right outside the door or next to you is odd enough.  I can’t imagine having to stand next to someone while having my man parts out and peeing, being close enough that you could practically rub elbows in the process…creepy!  Honestly, if I were I guy, I’d be pretty pissed (ha ha) that I didn’t get my own separate stall.  Who wants to answer nature’s call with some random dude right next to you?  Definitely not me.  And on a gross thought – we all know how bad guys are at aiming…what if there’s a splash back from your piss pal beside you?  Nasty…

After I pondered the oddity of going number 1 in public, I started thinking about number 2.  Why is it that a bathroom is always empty, except when you have to drop a bomb?  Like seriously, Murphy’s got something out for you if you go number 2 in public.  There is nothing worse than having an upset stomach and having to use a strange toilet, and then meeting a group of ladies in the bathroom on your mad dash to the pot.

I don’t know about you, but I get stage fright in these situations.  Plus I don’t want these strangers to hear me fart or to hear a splash.  That is utterly mortifying to me.  The other horrible situation is when you are mid-deuce, and people come in to the bathroom.  Even if you courtesy flush, the room is not smelling like roses.  Then there is the shame of exciting the stall and having someone go right in after you.  I always pray that they don’t get hit with a wall of poo stink.  Fingers crossed…

Even though it’s odd, nothing will stop me from going potty in public.  I have the bladder of a squirrel, so there is no way in hell I can go all day without peeing.  And don’t even get me started on my jacked up stomach.  When you gotta go, you gotta go!

Advertisements