Ok guys, last night was rough!  I suffered through some torture and I was sure I wouldn’t be able to sleep things were that sketchy.  You may know that I am not a fan of bugs, specifically roaches.  Well, last night I got the roach-related scare of my life.

Since I haven’t been sleeping well lately, T and I decided to head upstairs to lay in bed and watch TV around 10.  That way we would both be comfortable, and we could roll over and go right to sleep when the show was over.  We were just hanging out and relaxing, watching Dinner Impossible.

At one point, T decided to head downstairs to get a glass of water.  I’d been propped up awkwardly and sat up to readjust my pillows, when I saw the biggest and sketchiest looking roach crawling on the ceiling, maybe only a foot or so away from the bed.  I freaked the fuck out!

I started yelling to T to come and kill it before it came after me.  It was having a hard time climbing on the ceiling since it’s popcorn-y, so it fell.  Then I panicked.  I was literally backed into a corner because that asshole was blocking the door (well not really, but it seemed that way).  The thing that freaked me out the most was that when it fell, it opened it’s wings and gently fluttered to the ground.  The crawling ones are bad enough, but the flying ones are double scary.

Finally T came running up the stairs because I was screaming like a lunatic.  Guys, it was fucking HUGE and that scary.  He grabbed our little metal trashcan and put it on top of it, but to my horror, it wouldn’t die!  He smooshed the crap out of it, and every time he lifted the can, it crawled away…fairly quickly.  It wasn’t even phased that he was smashing it with a trash can.

I think after a couple of terrifying minutes, T was able to eliminate it.  As I was sitting on the bed, curled into a ball and twitching with horror, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.  Yup, Roach #1’s buddy was climbing on the wall by our bathroom.  I started screaming again and T came running.  I pointed at Roach #2 with a shaky finger, jumped off the bed and hauled ass down the stairs.

I almost had a heart attack when I reached the landing.  Crawling around on the living room floor was flying Roach #3.  I started screaming all over again.  Luckily the furbabies were right there, and Fado was on a mission to seek and destroy.  He clawed and batted at it until T could get down there to kill it.  I sat huddled in a ball on the stairs like a coward, trying not to cry at the invasion of our house.

Eventually I headed back upstairs and sat on the bed, waiting for T to return.  He was cleaning up the remnants of #3 downstairs.  As he walked into the guest room to clean up #1, he noticed that it wasn’t in the same spot he’d left it in.  That fucker wasn’t dead after all!  This began round 2 of crushing the roach with the trash can until it finally died.

By this point, I was completely traumatized.  We are not dirty people, hell we’d just spent time cleaning the bathrooms and the kitchen.  I just don’t know where they keep coming from.  I mean, living in the south in an old house, you expect them.  Every once in a while, I will find a dead one on its back (thankfully the cats like to attack them).  But I have never, in the entire time we’ve been there, seen 3 live ones INSIDE.  Two of which were in our room…shudder.

The only thing can think of is that because it was raining really hard outside, they must have come inside to escape the water.  I’m assuming they come in through the air vents, though I’m not really sure.  But they really just appear out of nowhere sometimes.  I also know that they can squeeze through tiny cracks in between doors and windows, so maybe that’s how they get in.  Maybe it’s time for a monthly pest control service…