Today has started out kind of meh.  Well, it began last night.  I tried to go to bed around 11:30 because I was super tired.  I got ready and laid in bed to watch TV.  I drifted off to sleep.  Then I woke up when T came in to get ready for bed.  Since he’d gone to the gym, he had to take a shower first.

He finally crawled into bed, and I began to doze back off.  All of a sudden he popped up and got out of bed.  Naturally, this woke me up…again.  I asked him what he was doing, and he said he heard the cats shredding something in the guest room.  He went to investigate and found Fado rifling through some papers, trying to shred them.  He pried them free, removed Fado, and climbed back into bed.  By this time, it was around 12:20.  So much for my early night.

Around 3:00-something, I woke up because Zoey was sniffing my face.  I’m not sure what her deal is, but she likes to hop onto the bed, right by my pillow, and sniff or meow at me.  At this point she was just sitting and sniffing, so I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Fast forward to about 6:30, an hour before my alarm is set to go off.   Zoey returned to her spot by my face.  This time she was meowing up a storm.  She won’t just sit or lay there, she tries to climb onto my nightstand to bat things off.  Or she pretends she’s a gymnast, and tries to get her fat ass onto our very skinny headboard and walk across it.  This results in her sometimes falling onto your head or pillow.  Let me tell you, it’s awesome when she does that!

Naturally, I pushed her off so I could go back to sleep.  Well, she came back for a third time.  This meant war.  I scooped her little fat self up and deposited her into the hallway.  I think she stood there scratching at the door for a few minutes then left.  I happily drifted back into dreamland.  About 5 minutes later, Fado started getting restless – the commotion Zoey caused woke him up.  So he started howling, beating at the blinds, just being his annoying self.  I made T get up and dump Fado into the hallway as well.

Of course by the time my alarm went off, I felt like crap.  I dragged my lethargic ass out of bed and crawled into the shower, hoping it would help me feel more alert.  I had to shave, so I grabbed my shaving cream and sprayed it into my hand.  All of a sudden, the foam exploded out of my hand. 

What the fuck? I was so confused and couldn’t figure out what happened.  I shook the can a little and sprayed again.  This time something super cold and steamy came out.  I jerked my hand away and held it under the hot water.  Then it finally hit me – I’m not a morning person so I’m a little slow sometimes – I had just sprayed my hand with CO2 from inside the shaving cream can.  And it was cold and stung.  I don’t know what happened, and why the shaving cream wasn’t coming out, but it was stange.  I sprayed a few more times (not at my hand) until I thought it was better, then tried again.  That time shaving cream came out, but it was really fluffy looking (instead of gel-like).  Luckily, the rest of my shower was uneventful.

Once I was done, I dried off and stepped out of the shower…and almost died. My right foot was partially on our little bathroom rug and partially on the tile floor and my left foot was still in the tub, and I started to slip.  Luckily I caught myself on the towel bar, but I banged the shit out of my left shin bone on the side of the tub.  I know it’s going to be a huge welty bruise, because it hurt standing up while I was getting ready.

All I want is a full night’s sleep, not to get burned from CO2 in my shaving cream can, and not to nearly break my leg getting out of the shower.  Is that too much to ask?!?

To make me feel better, feel free to share your clumsy stories so I don’t feel like the only Bambi on new legs.

Thanks to all of you for the anniversary wishes!  You are all too sweet! 🙂