It’s that time again, where you share a little bit too much about yourself with thousands of strangers.  To read about everyone else’s horror stories, go to LiLu’s TMI Thursday page:)

I’ve always thought this was a hilarious story when I first heard it.  Thankfully it doesn’t involve me…

During her junior of college, Little S went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras with some friends.  They weren’t actually there for Fat Tuesday but the weekend before.  Of course it didn’t matter that it wasn’t the actually holiday; the city was packed.

They weren’t staying in New Orleans but in Baton Rouge.  They all got up early Saturday morning to catch a shuttle bus to take them to the festivities.  They arrived a little before noon, and they “laissent les bons temps roule.”

They walked around Bourbon Street, having drinks, throwing beads, watching parades, just having a good time.  At some point they stopped for lunch, but weren’t able to stay too long because their group was so big and there wasn’t much room.

Fast forward to early evening and everyone was pretty tipsy.  They had been drinking and walking around all day, and they didn’t get much sleep the night before.  As the evening progressed, the streets got more and more crowded.

At one point, one of Little S’s guy friends (we’ll call him Mac) had to pee really, really bad.  The lines at the bars were super long, and he wouldn’t have made it if he had to wait.  He didn’t want to pee in the street and risk getting in trouble.  At some point someone suggested that he go into a souvenir shop and buy something and then he could go to the bathroom.  He liked the idea, so he ran into the nearest cheesy gift shop.

Mac bought the first thing he saw – a pair of cheapo sunglasses for $10.  He went to the counter and paid.  As he turned to leave, he asked the cashier if he could use the restroom.  She glared over the top of her glasses at him and snapped, “NO!  It’s for employees only!”  Mac was desperate, so he pleaded with the lady.  She still said no and sent him on his way.

By this point, it was getting hard for Mac to walk – not only was he buzzing, he had to piss like a racehorse.  He was on one side of the store and had to go clear across it to make it to the door. As he made his way to the door, very slowly, he saw one of his friends standing down an aisle full of tacky purses.  You know the ones…with the old Hollywood glamour photos on them, sequins and fake crystals?

His friend is standing there making fun of the purses when Mac finally staggered over.  The friend saw him and knew that he hadn’t been to the restroom.  She took a deep breath, looked at him, and with total sincerity told him “Why don’t you just pee in the corner over there?  No one will see you, and I’ll stand cover.”

So Mac did what any desperate person in his situation would do – he unzipped and let it flow.  Well, at this point Mac was a little pissed (haha) off at the rude cashier, so he began to aim his stream towards the wall of tacky purses.

One poor purse bore the brunt of his anger.  A Marilyn Monroe purse that happened to be at the front of the rack.  He peed like Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own and that was the day the poor Marilyn got her very own golden shower.

marilyn

I always wondered what happened to that purse and to the person who may have eventually bought it…


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