It’s that time again, where you share a little bit too much about yourself with thousands of strangers.  To read about everyone else’s horror stories, go to LiLu’s TMI Thursday page.

This is a very special story.  Luckily it did not happen to me, but I was there to deal with the aftermath…

It was fall 2004, and I was a senior in college.  Little S was a new freshman.  She and some of her friends had fake IDs, so they would come and hang out at the bars with us from time to time.  On Friday night, Little S’s friend DJ was visiting us for the weekend.  He was super excited to be going out in Athens and couldn’t wait to hit the bars.

He came up pretty early in the afternoon, so we decided we’d go to the store to get some dinner.  We bought a rotisserie chicken, some sides, and some beer.  DJ also got himself some chicken tenders.  We all sat down to eat and have a few beers.  DJ ate a lot.  I was surprised at how much food the kid could put away.

Fast forward a few hours later, a few more friends came over to pre-game before we went out.  DJ kept chugging cheap vodka out of the bottle (he called it a shot, it was more like giant gulps).  We played some drinking games, the boys may have shotgunned a few beers, and then we were on our way.  We ended up in this bar/concert venue called Tasty World.  We were all hanging out, having some drinks and having fun.

Some of our guy friends were Marines, so they tended to drink like crazy.  At one point all the Marines and DJ were taking shots of liquid cocaine (they vary from place to place, but they are super strong – all liquor).  I looked over just in time to see DJ shoot it and spew it ( and some of his dinner) back into a shot glass and then into a pint glass.  Ewww, gross! I knew it was time for him to go because most bars don’t take kindly to people barfing in the open.  One of the Marines and I took him back to my place.  FYI – it was barely 11 p.m.

By the time we got him home, he was super stumbley and not feeling well.  I dragged him into the bathroom so he wouldn’t get sick in my living room.  At that point he told me he had to pee, so I told him to sit on the toilet (I didn’t want him to miss) and I’d be back to check on him.  I walked out and about 30 seconds later I heard a huge splat sound coming from the bathroom.

I knocked on the door and peeked in.  DJ had started throwing up…in my bathtub.  Since he was sitting on the toilet, the tub was the closest place for him to aim.  Let me tell you, in my entire life I have never seen so much puke come out of one person.  The tub was practically half full (lengthwise) of regurgitated chicken,  side dishes, and alcohol.  The bathroom reeked!

Luckily for him, I kick into mom mode when someone is sick or hurt (I don’t know how I do it), and I managed to help DJ get cleaned up, changed and comfortably spread out on the bathroom floor.  He was not to be trusted to sleep anywhere else.  Then I had to take care of the oh-so-nasty tub.

Unfortunately our drain wasn’t one of those open ones where stuff could flow easily down.  No, it had to have a little cover over it that kept stuff from going down.  That meant I had to scoop the puke out of the tub with a solo cup to put it in the toilet so I could flush it.  I kept repeating that action until the rest would wash down the drain.  It was seriously one of the most disgusting things I had to deal with.  To make matters worse, it was really cold outside, so that meant we couldn’t leave the windows open for hours because it would freeze the place out.

Needless to say, I returned downtown to be rid of the smell and enjoy a much-needed drink or two.  I’m not sure how the hell I ended up being the one to take care of DJ and his mess.  All I know is that I wanted to smack some people for getting him all tanked up and making me take care of him.

Happy TMIT!


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