It’s that time again, where you share a little bit too much about yourself with thousands of strangers.  To read about everyone else’s horror stories, go to LiLu’s TMI Thursday page.

Some of you may remember that I’ve written in the past about my stomach drama (the funny thing is, it was also on a Thursday, before I knew about TMI Thursday).

Well, one summer when I was about 11 or 12, we were up in New Hampshire visiting my dad’s family.  We were staying at my cousins’ house, which was always great for Little S and me since they were our same age.

The problem is that their house was old.  And I don’t mean like 30-40 years old.  I mean like close 100 years old.  This meant that there was only 1 bathroom, which my family was not used to.  We had 3.  There were 8 of us staying in the cousin household – my family’s 4 plus their 4.

On afternoon, all of us kids were gathered in the living room, when my stomach started acting up.

Gurgle…gurgle…

I knew what this meant and made a bee-line for the bathroom before anyone else could beat me to it.  I dropped a mean poo bomb on that poor old toilet.  After I was sure my stomach was calmed down, I went to flush the toilet.  To my horror, it wasn’t really working so well.  And I panicked.

I looked everywhere for a plunger, but couldn’t find one.  I tried flushing again, but all of the toilet paper was sort of blocking the hole and nothing was moving.  I was super embarrassed and did not want to announce what I had just done by asking for help.  And of course my parents and my cousin’s parents had gone somewhere, so I could even ask mom or dad for assistance.

The minutes were ticking by, and I was worried someone would start to get suspicious about my disappearance.  And then I saw it out of the corner of my eye – the toilet brush.

Yes, I thought, this will save the day!

So I did what any irrational teen would do.  I rammed that toilet brush down into the hole, until all the toilet paper and water were gone.  Then the toilet filled part of the way back up, and I went on my merry way.

About 20 minutes later, our other aunt came over to help my younger cousin take a bath.  At that time he was going through chemo and was pretty weak.  She was also a nurse and was there to check on him.  They headed towards the bathroom, and I didn’t give it a second thought…until I heard the scream.

My poor little cousin had gone to the bathroom, and when he flushed the toilet it errupted like a small geyser.  He got drenched by the nasty toilet water.  My poor aunt had to lift him to safety and stick him in the bathtub to save him.

At this point I had started to freak out a bit since I was in fact the last person to use the facilities.  My poor aunt couldn’t figure out where all of the toilet paper had come from…

I was about to fess up to my crime when there was a knock at the front door.  Come to find out, the water company had been working on the water lines so the pressure was turned down.  That is why the toilet wouldn’t really flush for me.  And my little cousin got sprayed because at the time he flushed, the water pressure had been turned back up, much to his dismay.  Or  at least that’s what they thought because I sure as hell never fessed up to stuffing giant wads of TP down the toilet, against its will.

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