I happened to stumble across LiLu’s TMI Thursday posts  today and thought it would be fun to play along.  You have been warned…

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

When I was younger (middle school and high school), I wasn’t very sexually advanced.  I didn’t have my first real kiss until I was a freshman in high school.  That also meant I wasn’t super familiar with a guy’s below the belt area either.  I had a few make out sessions with past boyfriends where his hands ventured below my belt or under my shirt, but I never returned the favor because I just wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.  And there was no way in hell I would ask a guy for some guidance, so I just left things as they were. I would like to apologize now to all of my old boyfriends that I left with blue balls.  I just didn’t know any better!

Fast forward a few years to my first really serious boyfriend.  I really liked this guy and realized that I needed to step up the plate to return the favor, even though I didn’t know what to do.

One night Boyfriend and I had gone out to a movie, then we ended up back at my place so we could hang out.  We walked into the living room to chat with my parents, who were watching TV.  We sat down and decided to watch for a little while.  All of a sudden, the show they were watching ended and Sex and the City came on (this was in its early years).

I did a quick survey around the room and realized how awkward everything was about to turn.  Here were Boyfriend and I, and my parents.  I was just getting ready to stage a mass exodus, when Samantha popped onto the screen.  And what was she doing?  Well folks, she was giving a guy a BJ.  It was the episode about the funky spunk.  I seriously thought that boyfriend might die from the awkwardness, and I might pass out from embarrassment.  I quickly jumped up, grabbed his arm, and shouted to my parents that we were going to watch a movie in my room.  You have never seen 2 teens move that fast.

We ended up in my room, sort of laughing about the strange situation we had just left behind.  Then we popped in a movie  and snuggled up on the bed.  During the movie, Boyfriend kept looking over at me, and finally he asked me the question that I had been dreading. “So, how about you give me a BJ?”

The funny thing is, we had been sleeping together for about 4-5 months now, but BJ’s had never come up.  I was flustered and could feel my face turn red as I mumbled, “Ok, but I’m not really sure what to do.”  Being the sweet guy he was, he gave me pointers, and we were on our way.

The entire time this process was going on, I could not get the SATC episode out of my head.  Samantha and her guy with the funky spunk.  All these thoughts of grossness, started to make me panic.  I didn’t want to know what Boyfriend’s spunk tasted like.  So I did what any normal, freaked out teen girl would do.  I pulled away at the last possible second, and poor Boyfriend got spunked…in the face.

Of course I am one to laugh at inappropriate times, and I busted out laughing at his shocked expression.  I felt terrible, but I just couldn’t help it.  Needless to say, he was not thrilled.  He was actually kind of pissed off at me, and honestly I didn’t blame him.

Luckily, no grudges were held.  And we were even able to laugh about this little incident in the future!

TMI Thursday

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