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It’s that time again, where you share a little bit too much about yourself with thousands of strangers.  To read about everyone else’s horror stories, go to LiLu’s TMI Thursday page.

I am not much of a gym nut.  Going to the gym is usually pure torture.  I’d much rather go walking with a friend or do a workout DVD at home just because I hate dealing with all the people at the gym and waiting for equipment to open up.

One day, JD and I decided to go for a nice long walk.  About 5 minutes in, it began to rain.  This meant we had to cut our workout short.  Once we got back to her house, she remembered that she had gotten this free pilates DVD with a pack of chicken she bought (weird, I know), so we decided we should try it out.

I am not one who does yoga or pilates very often because I can’t control myself.  I either can’t do the positions right and then tip over, or I am too busy laughing at how awkward I must look in some of the crazy positions to really focus on what I need to be doing.

We put in the DVD and waited anxiously for our pilates session to begin.  I think we got a pretty good workout in and both of us were maintaining our focus really well.  And then we got to the ab section.  We were doing some kind of reverse crunch  move when all of a sudden the silence was shattered by two loud TTTTTHHHHUUURRPs!

JD and I looked at each other and nearly died.  Whatever crazy move we were doing was causing to make farting noises…not out of our butts but  out of our va-jay-jays.  Yeah, it was special.

We continued doing the exercises, which resulted in an extra unique chorus of queefs.  By the end of the workout, we were laughing so hard we could barely breathe.  We were both gasping for breath and joking about how glad we were that we were in her living room and not a class.  That would have been super embarrassing.

After that little episode, I am seriously leery about ever doing yoga or pilates in public.  How are you supposed to control that?  Or maybe everyone’s queefing, so it really isn’t that noticeable?

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My parents’ 30th wedding anniversary is next week!  Nowadays with divorce rates skyrocketing, being married for any length of time is a feat, especially since they got married when they were only 20 and 21.  I am just really happy to say that my parents are still together and going strong after all these years.

In honor of their anniversary, Little S and I will be throwing them a surprise party.  We’ve already begun plotting with their neighbors and good friends about getting them out of the house so we can sneak in and set up The Bar (the fun party basement).  I’m hoping it won’t be too much of a pain to get them out of the house!

Originally, I had volunteered to cook food for the party, but Little S pointed out that with us trying to set up and potentially make a quick slideshow of photos of them throughout the years (we haven’t had a chance to steal their old photos albums and won’t make it to their house before the party), we may not have time to cook for 20-something people.  We’ll still make some smaller and quicker items, but we’ll rely on a store for the main items.

Originally we’d planned to have the party catered by our favorite Mexican restaurant, but it would have cost $750 to feed everyone.  That is a little insane if you ask me.  So instead we’ve opted to order a Honey Baked Ham.  We’ll prob make some bacon wrapped scallops (yummy) and maybe some clams or shrimp.  If you can think of any tasty and easy party food, please share!   We’ve asked the guests to provide a side or bottle of champagne.  I’m really excited about the party and hope that it turns out well!

Here is my question, what would be a good 30th anniversary present for our parents?  I am kind of stumped.  Everything I’ve seen so far is too girly for both of them (everything is pearl-related – I’m pretty sure my dad doesn’t want pearls).  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Also, how long have your parents been married if they are still together?

Hey lovelies, sorry it’s been a little while since my last post but things have been fairly hectic in Bing and T Land.

Last week was major our hell spring cleaning week.  Our realtor, Diana, met with us last Thursday to discuss putting the condo on the market.  We wanted to make sure the house was in tip top shape so she could get an accurate feel of what all we’ve improved on since we bought it.  Let me tell you guys something.  Our condo, has never been this clean.  I’m really liking it – it’s much less cluttered and everything feels so organized!

She really liked what we’ve done, which is a big plus.  We do still have some minor repairs to make, but we got started on those this weekend.  My dad came up to tackle the leaky shower.  Last year when the water heater bit the dust, I had the plumber investigate the leak.  He basically concluded that the tile job was shoddy and water was getting behind the cracked tile, causing the leak.  So my dad was nice enough to bust out the tiles and replace some things behind the wall.  He is coming up tonight to try a few different things to make sure that the leak isn’t coming from the pipes after all.  If all is clear, he’ll replace the tiles and we’ll be done with it.

While my dad was working on the bathroom, T and I tackled our patio.  It really wasn’t that bad to begin with, but it could use some spruce up work.  Well, I began raking up all the leaves and debris that had blown in there.  Then we used a blower to get the dirt up.  After that, T pressure washed it while I went to Home Depot to buy some flowers to plant, some cute edgers for the flower beds, and new concrete squares that we could use to expand our patio.  Before that, our patio was half laid concrete and half blocks.  Over time, the dirt underneath them settled, causing them to become uneven.

It seriously took us all day to complete the patio project.  ALL DAY!  Whoever lived there before us had used rocks in the flower beds, so we were trying to get them all out of there so we could re-lay the concrete slabs evenly and plant the flowers.  We even dug up some decent-sized rocks, which we used to make a little rock garden – it’s really cute.  I’m not sure who thought it would be a good idea to bury those.  Even though the work was hard and I am sore as hell, the patio looks amazing.  I’m a patio girl, so I’d definitely buy the condo based on that!

On Sunday we began ripping down the old wallpaper in our bathroom.  There wasn’t anything wrong with it looks wise, but it was peeling off in spots so that wasn’t beneficial to the reselling process.  It was sort of fun pulling off the old wallpaper, until it started separating from the adhesive.  We’ve gotten most of the paper off, but still have to get all the adhesive removed before we can paint.  Guess what we’ll be doing tonight after work?  You know you are jealous!  After we finish up that bad boy, we’ll move to the guest bathroom that is painted a garish yellow and is topped with a super FUG flowered border.  At least the border won’t take so long to remove, then all we’ll have to do is paint!

I’m pretty sure that it will be going on the market in the next week or so, so I’ll definitely post some lovely photos for you guys to see.

How were all of your weekends?  Hopefully less labor intensive and dirty than mine! 🙂

It’s that time again, where you share a little bit too much about yourself with thousands of strangers.  To read about everyone else’s horror stories, go to LiLu’s TMI Thursday page.

Back in high school, I had this obsession with disco balls.  I’m not really sure why – maybe because I always wanted to be able to live in the 70s.  A little over a year into our relationship, T bought me a disco ball for my birthday that looked sort of like this, minus the spotlight:

discoball

I thought it was the coolest thing ever!  I never hung it on my ceiling, and instead kept it sitting on my bed.  I had this crazy huge headboard that had a ledge to put things on as well as sliding doors that I could put stuff in.  It was pretty handy.  And so the disco ball sat there.

One afternoon, T came over to my house to hang out.  Since my parents weren’t home, we decided to sneak upstairs for a little nookie.  We were doing our business and suddenly something went very painfully wrong.

T was on the bottom, with his head near the headboard.  Since we were in the throes of passion, the headboard was rocking (so don’t come a knocking – haha).  What I wasn’t noticing was that the little disco ball was inching closer and closer to the edge.

All of a sudden I heard a crash-thud, and a little yelp.  I opened my eyes to see the discoball,  with real glass mini-mirrors, had landed right on T’s face.  Naturally I freaked out.  His forehead was red and puffy.  There were little shards of glass on his face and eyelashes.  He was actually bleeding a little too.  I stopped to lean over and make sure he wasn’t seriously hurt and to wipe of his face.  And do you know what he said to me?  Don’t stop, keep going!  Guys will let nothing get in the way of their grand finale.  So, we moved the disco ball and kept going.

Afterward, we went to the bathroom so he could get a better look at his poor face.  He wasn’t banged up too bad, but you could definitely tell something had hit him in the face.  Of course as we were inspecting his injuries, my mom came home from work.  T started to freak out a bit since he knew my mom would notice his puffy forehead (she always notices the littlest things).  And that’s when I came up with the greatest story ever.

We told my mom that T was trying to be funny and bounce me off the bed, so he did a flying leap that caused the disco ball to fly off the ledge and hit him in the face.  She showed some concern, but definitely had a laugh at poor T’s expense.  I’m pretty sure she bought the story, but years later I told her what really happened.  And that made her laugh even more.

After that little incident, the disco ball ended up with a new home – my dresser.

As you all may know, I have 2 crazy cats, Fado and Zoey.  I love them dearly.  My favorite thing about both of them is that they have such distinctive personalities.  They will totally let you know when they want you do something for them.

Total tangent – On Saturday, T and I spent the whole day cleaning out our scary guest room.  For the last 2.5 years, it has been a catch all for everything in the house we don’t have a place for.  It seriously had gotten to the point of being so ridiculous, I was sort of embarrassed to go in there.   About 5 hours and 5 boxes of Goodwill donations later, it looked like a real room!  Just to give you an idea of how crazy it was – you could barely walk into the closet because there were so many boxes of T’s old clothes and my clothes that we never wore in there, as well as a ton of random crap just blocking up the small space.  We seriously donated 48 old T-shirts from T and like 8 pairs of jeans.  It was intense!  I do want to brag about how lovely the room looks now, so here are some photos.

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Our desks that were covered with so much junk they were unusable.

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Our neatly organized closet – with space that can actually be used!

Anyway, while we were cleaning we came across some old shoe strings.  For most people, shoe strings are not exciting, but for us they are.  Why, you ask?  Well, string is Fado’s absolute favorite thing to play with in the whole wide world.  You should see how excited this little guy gets when he finds some string.  It’s so cute!  We’ve spent tons of money on little crinkle tunnels, feathers on a stick, and fuzzy toy mice, but nothing provides hours of entertainment for Fado like a plain old string.  To keep them from ending up in the garbage, I tossed the stings into the hallway.  Shortly after, we found Fado chewing on and playing with them.  And so it started.

Fado’s favorite way to play with string is to have you sit in the middle of the room and drag it in circles around you.  He will run after it and pounce on it relentlessly, for hours on end if you would keep dragging it around.   It is a lot of fun, especially because you can see how much he enjoys his string time, but you do get tired.  Occasionally he will get over zealous with his pouncing and claw you, and eventually you need to stop.  Even though he doesn’t want you to.

Since we found 2 stings, one of them is in the spotless guestroom and the other is in the living room.  When Fado wants to play, he will let you know.  All day yesterday he would run up the stairs and sit in the guestroom by his string.  If you walked anywhere near him, he would start to get up and make this funny chirping meow sound as if to say – “Yay, you’re coming to play with me.”  It breaks my heart when he gets like this and I don’t have time to play with him since he is so eager to chase his toy.

Last night we played for about 10 minutes in the living room, then I went to sit on the couch with T to watch a movie.  The entire time we watched, Fado would roll around on the ground next to the string and chirp, begging us to play with him.  It’s really pretty funny to watch.  Eventually he gave up and came and laid on the couch with us.

But his quest for the string never ends.  This morning on my way out the door, I was greeted with a chirpy meow and this:

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Fado eagerly waiting for someone to come and play with him.

I guess I owe someone some play time tonight.  I bet he’s sat there most of the day, just waiting for someone to make the string move! 🙂

I really hate it when people get snarky at you for no reason, especially in the workplace.  It is just so uncalled for.  I’m sorry if I’ve contacted someone multiple times to ask a question, and they don’t get back to me.  There is nothing I can do about it so there is no need to get bitchy.  And I really don’t have time to sit there calling or e-mailing that person over and over again.  I do have other things I need to work on.  Plus I don’t want to be a nuisance – no one likes to be pestered.

~

I got a sub today from Publix (grocery store for all of you non-Southerners).  It was a Cuban and was totally amazing.  I heart Cubans.  What I hate when eating sandwiches is when the top part of the bread ends up being smaller than the lower part and the filling.  How does that happen?  I don’t understand.  Also, when the meat starts sliding out the back, that is so not cool.

~

I am loving these bright and sunny days we are having, but the nights are not so great.  It keeps dropping into the 40s.  I want to sleep with the window open or wear flip flops, but at night it’s still too chilly.  The hotness will be here soon enough, then I will be complaining about that too.

~

I am trying to be more physically fit, but it is just so hard.  I’ve worked out with Little S a few times, but that results in me getting home after 8 p.m., which is not cool when you still have to cook dinner.  I suck at waking up, even at 7:30 a.m., so there is no way I will be able to go before work.  Maybe I can try to do the 30 Day Shred in the morning, since it’s so short.  How do you manage to balance working out with work?  By the end of the day, I’m usually so shot.

~

Stomachaches.  At work.  With a one-seater bathroom.  A meeting going on in the conference room, right next to the bathroom.  Enough said.

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Cleaning out the guest bedroom.  It is a catch all for everything.  It is so cluttered.  We will be cleaning it and the rest of the house all day tomorrow.  I am so NOT looking forward to that.

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On another note, I am so happy that it is Friday and not raining (for the millionth time this spring!).  We are going to some friends’ house tonight for a cook out, which should be a lot of fun.  If it gets too chilly, I’m sure the fire pit will make an appearance. 🙂

Happy weekend!

It’s that time again, where you share a little bit too much about yourself with thousands of strangers.  To read about everyone else’s horror stories, go to LiLu’s TMI Thursday page.

Some of you may remember that I’ve written in the past about my stomach drama (the funny thing is, it was also on a Thursday, before I knew about TMI Thursday).

Well, one summer when I was about 11 or 12, we were up in New Hampshire visiting my dad’s family.  We were staying at my cousins’ house, which was always great for Little S and me since they were our same age.

The problem is that their house was old.  And I don’t mean like 30-40 years old.  I mean like close 100 years old.  This meant that there was only 1 bathroom, which my family was not used to.  We had 3.  There were 8 of us staying in the cousin household – my family’s 4 plus their 4.

On afternoon, all of us kids were gathered in the living room, when my stomach started acting up.

Gurgle…gurgle…

I knew what this meant and made a bee-line for the bathroom before anyone else could beat me to it.  I dropped a mean poo bomb on that poor old toilet.  After I was sure my stomach was calmed down, I went to flush the toilet.  To my horror, it wasn’t really working so well.  And I panicked.

I looked everywhere for a plunger, but couldn’t find one.  I tried flushing again, but all of the toilet paper was sort of blocking the hole and nothing was moving.  I was super embarrassed and did not want to announce what I had just done by asking for help.  And of course my parents and my cousin’s parents had gone somewhere, so I could even ask mom or dad for assistance.

The minutes were ticking by, and I was worried someone would start to get suspicious about my disappearance.  And then I saw it out of the corner of my eye – the toilet brush.

Yes, I thought, this will save the day!

So I did what any irrational teen would do.  I rammed that toilet brush down into the hole, until all the toilet paper and water were gone.  Then the toilet filled part of the way back up, and I went on my merry way.

About 20 minutes later, our other aunt came over to help my younger cousin take a bath.  At that time he was going through chemo and was pretty weak.  She was also a nurse and was there to check on him.  They headed towards the bathroom, and I didn’t give it a second thought…until I heard the scream.

My poor little cousin had gone to the bathroom, and when he flushed the toilet it errupted like a small geyser.  He got drenched by the nasty toilet water.  My poor aunt had to lift him to safety and stick him in the bathtub to save him.

At this point I had started to freak out a bit since I was in fact the last person to use the facilities.  My poor aunt couldn’t figure out where all of the toilet paper had come from…

I was about to fess up to my crime when there was a knock at the front door.  Come to find out, the water company had been working on the water lines so the pressure was turned down.  That is why the toilet wouldn’t really flush for me.  And my little cousin got sprayed because at the time he flushed, the water pressure had been turned back up, much to his dismay.  Or  at least that’s what they thought because I sure as hell never fessed up to stuffing giant wads of TP down the toilet, against its will.

Yesterday I was tagged by Hillary to post a picture of myself that very second.  Because of the time difference between Atlanta and Vancouver, I did not notice the tag till this morning.  Not to be one to disappoint, I will take and post a picture of myself right now on this very lovely Thursday morning.  Just a head’s up – I’m having a not so great hair day.  Don’t judge me!

Ok, about 15 minutes later I was finally able to take a damn picture.  The Google phone is not the most cooperative camera out there.

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This is my “I’m so happy to be working/slightly annoyed at my camera phone” face .

Look at the special items in my office –

The straw-like wallpaper and half-dead palm tree thing give the office a beach bungalow feeling (not so much).

Check out the balance ball chair in the background that my co-workers sit on when they come to talk to me.  Maybe I should start doing crunches on it…

I’m proud of my heritage – see my Bavarian flag in the background?

Now I am tagging you to play along!  It’s more fun than actually being productive on a Thursday!

Molly

Vonda

Jessica

Adriana

Here are the rules:

* Take a picture of yourself right now.
* No primping or preparing.
* Just snap a picture.
* Load the picture onto your blog.
* Tag some people to play along.

You know how I’ve complained about my crazy neighbors in the past?  Well, last night it reached a whole new level.  And let me just tell you, it was scary.

T and I were having a nice relaxing evening at home.  We’d ordered pizza and watched Death to Smoochy (such an awesome movie), and were about to start an episode of Chopped, when we heard some commotion coming from next door.  It was about 10:30, and doors were slamming and people were yelling at each other.  Being nosy, we peeked out the window to see crazy Jane, Joe and Jane’s weirdo sketchbag brother arguing very loudly by their cars.  They were cussing each other out and yelling at one another.  Then we heard a car peel out of the parking space and Jane started screaming.

By this point T and I started to get freaked out, so we opened up the front door to see crazy brother, reversing into another parking spot.  He then put the car in drive and and gunned it straight at Joe, whom he hit.  Joe flew up onto the hood, then fell under the car.  I started to panic at this point and called 9-1-1.  If Joe hadn’t flown up on the hood, I’m fairly sure he would be seriously injured or dead because he got hit at 15-20 MPH.

While I was on the phone with the 9-1-1 operator, Joe limped over to the brother and they began screaming at each other, and Joe was trying to hit him.  Joe was limping pretty badly, so the brother got back into his car, peeled out again, and drove off.  I explained the whole situation to the operator and told her to send the police.

T and I were pretty shaken up after the whole ordeal.  Jane and Joe scurried off to their house and went inside.  About 10 minutes after I made the call, I heard sirens in the distance and began to felt a little relief.  While we were waiting for the police to show up, T and I were on the porch having a cig, and we could hear Joe screaming at Jane about her crazy ass brother and how he’d broken his leg.

As the sirens got closer T and I went back inside to wait.  All of a sudden we saw flashing lights, so we opened the door.  It was the fucking fire department.  Apparently Jane had called and asked them to send an ambulance or something.  I’m still very confused about why the fire truck came out.  Shortly after its arrival, an ambulance pulled in.  But still no cops.

We were about to head outside to tell the firemen what happened, when Jane and John came out and started telling their story.  We didn’t hear the whole thing, but it sounded pretty much like they were trying to cover their asses and the brother’s.  John refused medical attention, even though he was limping really badly.  They even started fighting in front of the firemen and EMTs (seriously?).   A couple of them came inside to ask us what we had seen, so we told them what really went down.

Around 11, the police finally showed up.  Of course the officer went to their house first to talk to them.  When I saw him leave, I stuck my head out and waved him over to tell him what really happened.  He basically told us that if they were still getting crazy and fighting, to call the police again.  Regarding the brother, they couldn’t do anything if Joe didn’t want to press charges.  The last time I checked, hit and run was a pretty serious crime, even if the person hit doesn’t want to press charges.  But the police didn’t sound like they were trying to find the guy.  That really makes me angry.  The brother could have hit another person – I’m pretty sure I saw another lady out there who was walking her dog when it all started going down.  He could have hit my cats if they were outside or someone’s car.  It’s ridiculous that cops are pulling people over for burned out tail lights, but not looking for a (I’m pretty sure he was drunk or high) hit and run driver.  That is very disturbing.

During this whole ordeal, T and I never saw another neighbor stick their head outside.  I know it’s not nice to pry or be nosy, but when you hear people screaming, fighting, squealing car tires, and the thud of a person getting hit, don’t you think that maybe you should call the police?

Overall, the whole situation was pretty intense.  T and I were shaken up by the whole thing.  Of course Jane and Joe kept yelling and screaming and slamming doors for about 30 minutes after the cop left.  I was tempted to call the cops again, but knew by the time someone showed up, it’d be over.

So, that was my Tuesday night…How was yours?

Yesterday was one of those really peculiar weather days.  When I woke up, it was rainy – nothing really torrential, just a steady rain.  I checked the weather and noticed the temperature would be in the 60s.  Not too shabby.  As I left for work, I kept the bedroom windows open so the cats could lay in them and look outside during the day.  Then I got in my car and headed to work.  Nothing was out of the ordinary.

As I pulled into work, I noticed that it suddenly looked very windy outside.  I didn’t think anything of it since it was still raining and opened up the car door.  This wind, was intense.  As I reached my arm out to open my umbrella, the forceful gusts kept blowing my door shut.  Finally, I opened the umbrella inside my car as much as I could and jumped out.  The wind nearly ripped my umbrella out of my hand, and it flipped my umbrella inside out.  😦  My hair was blowing all over the place, and I could barely see because it kept covering my face.

I made it inside the office, looking all kinds of disheveled.  I headed into my office to start up my computer and get to work.  The wind had other ideas.  The winds were blowing at 20-25 miles per hour, with gusts up to 35 mph, which caused our power to flicker in and out.  This meant that our computers kept getting shut off.  I swear I re-booted at least 5 times.  A tree also blew over and fell into the street right in front of the office.  The guys outside cleaning it up were getting pelted with garbage that had blown away before the truck could come pick it up, and their hats were blowing up the streets.

All of the wind made me panic a bit since I’d left our bedroom windows open.  Luckily T was working downtown, so he was able to go home and close them.  One his way he encountered multiple fallen trees right outside of our neighborhood and downed power lines.  We didn’t have power while he was there, but it was back on last night.  Some of our friends aren’t so lucky – they may not get their electrcity back until Wednesday.

Around noon, the wind just suddenly stopped and so did the rain.  It was just a bit overcast, but overall it was an ok day.  Since it had gotten nice out again, I opened our bedroom windows last night before we went to bed.  Big mistake.  In the early hours of the morning, the worst thunderstorm was situated directly over our condo.

I awoke to the loudest crashes of thunder I have ever heard.  I seriously jumped up in bed, so did the cats.  The wind was howling, lighting was crashing, it was raining so hard, and at one point it hailed.  It was so loud outside, that I had to close the windows (for some reason it never rained into the room).  And then I got paranoid.  With it being so stormy out, I was convinced that a tornado would come and tear us and the house away while we were sleeping.  So I kept myself awake listening for the tell-tale sound of a tornado – train-like sounds.  Luckily there were none, but man am I exhausted today from all of the waking up I did last night.

I am so over this funky weather and can’t wait till it gets nice out again.  I know we are in a drought, but damn can someone cut us a break in the crazy storms department?

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