After reading Noelle’s post about her strange neighbor, I have been inspired to share some stories about my wacky neighbors with you too.

When T and I first moved into our condo in August of 2006, some people warned us about the couple living next door to us.  They were a little trashy and people weren’t particularly fond of them, especially the neighbor on the other side of them.  She once told me she called them cops on them on a fairly regular basis and complained to the neighborhood association because they would get into some knock-down drag-out fights.  This intrigued me because I’d never really heard anything too dramatic coming from them, so I started listening a little harder.

Here’s the back story on the wackies.  Jane* is probably in her mid-40s, but she had a stroke a few years back and hasn’t really been able to work since.  She is also a recovering alcoholic.  Joe*, her boyfriend, works but may or may not have turrets.  I’ve chatted with them a few times, trying to be neighborly, but they really weird me out.

Joe has an obsession with working on cars.  At one point they had 2 rundown Miatas that he decided needed to be worked on constantly.  He would be in our community parking lot, tearing apart the cars.  Taking doors off, welding things (we could see the sparks from our living room), propping them up on cinder blocks while the tires were off.  All things that add value to your home.  Eventually, one of the cars died, so they replaced it with a station wagon that has a busted out back window.  I heard from another neighbor that the wackies said someone threw a rock through it while they were driving.  Strange…

Joe likes to work on his car at any time.  This weekend, he was outside at 2 a.m. welding or something.  It’s ridiculous.  He’ll be out there till almost midnight during the week, messing around with his stupid car.  The best part is, our bedroom window faces the parking lot.  This means we are privy to all of the shop work taking place down below, including the noise.  Maybe I should say something to the association.

Another weird thing about Joe is that he makes these strange animal-like noises.  Once I brought mail over to them that I had received by accident, and he kept barking, quacking and hissing. in the background.  Jane looked at me and said he must have turrets or something.  I just smiled and nodded.  What do you do in a situation like that?

Jane is special all by herself.  While we were renovating the condo before we moved, I saw her sprawled out in the grassy quad behind our building in her PJs, just hanging out, talking to herself.  It was a little strange.  Another time we had people over for a BBQ, and we were hanging out on the porch.  All of a sudden Jane is hollering over the fence, asking if we have a shot of liquor we could spare.  Just remember, she’s told me plenty of times that she shouldn’t drink because of the stroke and, that she’s a recovering alcoholic.  I wasn’t going to give her anything since I didn’t want to contribute to her falling off the wagon, but one of our guy friends told her yes.

I also hear them fighting at all hours of the day and night.  I’m not saying that T and I never squabble, but those 2 go all out.  They are screaming, yelling, slamming doors, speeding off in cars.  It’s insane!  I’m hoping they move out soon, but I kind of worry because their little dog has peed and pooped all over their condo and it looks like hell.

So, do any of you have any special neighbors or horror stories?

*name changed to protect the crazy

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