If you were to hang out with me in real life, there a few things that about me that you would have to get used to.  First of all, I have a squirrel bladder.  I always have to pee.  It’s annoying for me, and I’m sure it bugs the hell out of people.  But I can’t help it.  It gets even worse when I’m drinking.  I’m really scared about what will happen when I’m pregnant one of these days.  Will I just have to live in the bathroom?

Another thing is that I have a crazy stomach.  Actually, my whole family does.  When I was a little kid, I felt like I had the stomach flu every month.   I finally outgrew that when I got a little older.  In my teen years it was horrible.  My stomach would bug me almost every day.  I had to watch out what I ate because if it was too greasy, I’d be in the bathroom, miserable.  I think I’m better than the rest of the family, but  it’s still annoying.

I remember this one time, when T and I had first started dating (we were about 6 months in), he had come over for the day to hang out since neither one of us had a final that day, and we were out of school.  We’d played softball with my sister, adopted a kitten for him, and had dinner at my house.  Well, that was a time that my stomach was in its very volatile stage.  I had just started taking the pill, and my stomach was not reacting well to the hormones.   After dinner, we were hanging out and being stupid when my stomach started hurting really bad (aka I had to go number 2).  Of course since we were still in the beginning stages of the relationship, there was no way that I could go while T was there.  He’d realize that I was gone for a while and know what I was doing.  So I suffered through it.

Finally, I felt so miserable that I told him he had to leave because I had to study for my physics final.  I’d completely forgotten that I’d picked him up, and he didn’t have his car.  Luckily he only lived 10-minutes away, round trip.  So I drove him to his house.  When we got there, he decided to be cute and want to talk and make out.  I was DYING and just wanted to be at home.  I’d reached the point where I was completely miserable so I did what any normal girl in my situation would do.  I told him I felt nauseous and thought I was going to throw up, and shoved him out of the car (yup, SHOVED) while yelling “I’m Gonna Puke!”  Then I sped out of his driveway to my house.  When I got home, I booked it to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, my crazy antics had really freaked him out.  So being the good boyfriend he was, he called to check on me to make sure I was ok.  Little S answered the phone, and T said that I had felt like I going to throw up, and he was worried.  Of course, Little S, being the awesome sister she is, told him that I was not throwing up and was instead taking a poop.  I was mortified when I found out, but he didn’t care.  We still crack up over it all these years later.

Another time we were coming back from a trip to VA Beach.  T and I were in one car, and his family was in another.  I’d eaten some left over pizza, and ended up with a terrible stomachache.  We were in the middle of nowhere.  We tried calling T’s dad, who was driving a head of us.  But he wouldn’t answer his phone.  We tried flashing our lights and signaling for him to pull over.  He didn’t get it.  After much aggravation, we got him on the phone.  We told him I had to find a bathroom, and we needed to stop.  He complained a little about stopping, but there was nothing I could do.  After driving around for a few more minutes in bumble f*ck, he stopped at a bathroom.

You will never guess where he pulled over.  Go on, I’ll give you a few minutes to ponder.  Are you ready?   Buddy’s Bait and Tackle Shack.  Yeah, a run down, red neck fishing shop.  The building looked like it was going to collapse on itself, and I couldn’t even imagine how nasty it was inside.  Hell, I wouldn’t have even peed in there, let alone number 2.  I told T there was no way in hell I was going in there, so we found another place (we led the way this time around).

So yeah, my stomach sucks sometimes.  If I eat too much greasy food, it usually ends poorly for me.  Lots of olive oil = awful.  Too much cheese on pizza or Mexican = um, ow.  Guacamole or avocado = death.  I’m allergic to it, and I feel like someone is stabbing me in the stomach if I eat it.  Which sucks because I really like it.  😦

Anyway, sorry for special post today.  I wasn’t feeling creative but I did have a stomachache.  Hopefully my stories brought you a laugh because you know that we’ve all been there before!

Haha, my sister just G-chatted me saying that her stomach was jacked up.  Told you it was a family thing!

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