Today my friend CMc mentioned something about one of our former friends that she noticed on Facebook, and it got me thinking about relationships.  How they can change people for the better, or worse, change them completely.

In 2005, T and I started hanging out with this guy Pink.  He was an ex from one of my college friends, and he had just moved to Atlanta for a job .  This meant he didn’t really know many people, especially since his ex was still in college and seeing another guy.  We’d met him before while they were dating, so we invited him to hang with us.  T and Pink became fast friends – sharing a love for Yankees baseball and Italian foods – and we all became practically inseparable.  Pink and I became especially close because T was still in college, and we only saw each other on weekends.  My roommate was very inconsiderate and took months to move in, so Pink and I hung out on a fairly regular basis since we were both bored and had crappy roommates.  We’d go out, cook dinner or stay in and watch movies.  I’d have someone to hang out with, and T was glad I wasn’t alone.

My family has always been prone to take in out of town guests for holidays, so he came over for Easter and Thanksgiving since he didn’t have the time off to go home.  Trips to my college town were great because Pink and I would carpool, giving our cars a break from the drive and getting us into the HOV lane.  Eventually I started to become close friends with JD and CMc, and our little group kept growing and growing.

Pink was loud at times, maybe a little obnoxious, but he was always fun to be around.  He’d make you laugh because he always acted like an idiot and didn’t care what people thought.

In 2006, we had all gone out to celebrate St. Patty’s week, and this is where Pink met with his downfall…he changed for a girl.  The morning after official St. Patty’s we decided to grab some food and beer, and he met Jane.  Well, actually he met two of Jane’s friends first, but after nothing happened with them he moved onto her.

Jane was a quiet, not super attractive girl with a sour-puss expression (he’s not a very attractive guy) and had no personality.  At first we all thought it was probably ok that she wasn’t overly outgoing since Pink had enough personality for the two of them.  But eventually we started to feel her sucking the life out of him.  He began to come around less and less, and when he did, Jane always made him leave after a couple of hours.  Pink later told T that Jane was threatened by two of the girls in our group because Pink had  tried to or had  hooked up with them in the past.  She was intimidated to hang out with everyone when they were there.  The funny thing is, that the two girls had no romantic feelings for him at all.  They just thought he was a nice friend.

We’d run into him every once and a while, but we never really hung out.  It’s been more than a year since we’ve last seen him.  Thanks to Facebook, we discovered that they are getting married in November 2008.  I know we didn’t know him for long, but we are all hurt about how he dissolved his ties with us for a relationship.

That is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Certain people act so needy and won’t give you a minute of time without them, but the second they are in a relationship they can’t separate themselves from that person at all.  My old roommate was like that, as well as Pink.  They throw friendships to the back burner and put all of their effort into their significant other.  It’s great to be so into someone that you want to be with them every minute of the day, but it is also sad when you let friendships wilt because of your relationship.  What will you do if it suddenly falls apart?  You’ve turned away all of your friends.

I’m glad to say that T and I have never been like that.  Even in the beginning stages of our relationship, we spent a lot of time together but we still maintained our friendships and our own interests.  Just because you have found “the one” doesn’t mean that no one else matters.

Here’s to you Pink, hope you and Jane have a happily ever after.  And I hope you haven’t let all of your old friendships dissolve.

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