I had originally started a different post, but my feelings got hurt and I couldn’t finish it.  Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow.  

Do you ever feel like you keep slipping further and further down on the list of things that are important to people?  I feel like that with T around this time every year.  It’s busy season, and he has to work crazy long hours and weekends.  This doesn’t leave much time for me.  He often comes home with even more work left for him to finish before the night is up.  It’s hard sometimes, and I know it’s just the way it is but I still don’t like it.

On the weekends I feel like I have to share his time with work, friends and other responsibilities.  And I’m sick of it.  This weekend we ended up hanging out at the beginning of the night on Friday and a large chunk of the afternoon on Saturday (after he got out of work), but he always ends the night with the guys.  It was pretty late Saturday night/Sunday morning when I asked him to come home with me instead of going out.  He said no.  I got a little angry because I knew he’d stay out too late and wouldn’t get up in the morning to help me with the errands we needed to run.  I was right.  He came home at 6 a.m.  Yeah, 6 in the morning.  After the bars closed, they headed out to Waffle House (a Southern dinner for all you Northerners who’ve never heard of it before), and I guess they stayed there for a few hours.  I was pissed.  I had asked him not to stay out late, and he did it anyway.  Sunday did not start off well.  **UPDATE:  I forgot to mention that he did get up, take me out to lunch, and help me with the errands like he promised.**     

Today is T’s 25 birthday.  And I want to make it special for him.  He’s been working really late and been really busy, so he probably won’t be able to do much for it tonight.  I offered to cook him a special dinner tonight, and he said that he would like that.  I renewed his subscription to MLB.com so he can watch all of his Yankees games (boo – I HATE the Yankees).  I am planning on getting him a cake or making him some cupcakes for dessert.  And I also wanted to take him out for a birthday lunch since we are working semi-close to each other, and I thought it would be fun for him.

You know what he did?  He told me no.  He’s going out with his co-workers for lunch.  Instead of telling them “thanks for the offer, but my fiance wanted to take me to lunch,” he said sure and is on his way to CiCi’s Pizza.  And I am left here, at work, fighting back the tears of always playing second place.